Blondie Barnes

@blondie-barnes

Active 2 months ago
@juno-valley Hi, Juno. Just thinking about you. Haven’t seen you on the forum in a bit. Everything okay with you? View
  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    Shazza, the bad news is that he will never change. But the good news is that he will never change. Yes, you read that right. The good news is that you know exactly what to expect from him. He will always work against you. But that’s okay. You will learn to change your expectations so that these things no longer feel like such a blow. You will…[Read more]

    • Dear Blondie Barnes,
      I really appreciate the advice you gave to Shazza. They made a difference in how vulnerable and lonely I was just feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write. I already feel stronger. There is light at the end of the tunnel. 🙂

    • Hi Blondie
      Thank you so much for your reply. I sobbed when I read it because I know it is absolutely true! I suppose this is part of the grieving process realising he is not the same person anymore. I’m so sorry you have to go through this too. I do have stronger days but today I am particularly fragile. Yes he is also an a.hole and more! Its nice…[Read more]

  • @juno-valley Hi, Juno. Just thinking about you. Haven’t seen you on the forum in a bit. Everything okay with you?

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 6 months ago

    Timmy, one of the best things someone told me: God doesn’t care about your marriage more than He cares about YOU!

    Please know that you should feel zero guilt before God for leaving an abusive relationship. He loves you and wants you to be healthy and whole. Marriage is supposed to be a reflection of God’s love for the Church (the Bride of…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 6 months ago

    Congratulations, Rebel. I pray the Lord continue to comfort you and provide for you a nice place to call home with room for your grandbabies to visit.

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 7 months ago

    My ex was in a huge rush to finalize our divorce. He told me he wanted to just “hurry up and get it over with.” This all came out of the blue for me, so I was just in shock. Of course, he just took his main stuff and left. I had to clean out the 2500 square feet house and 18 years of our stuff (with help from family and friends) and figure out…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 7 months ago

    LOL! We still love you, Juno! 🙂

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 7 months ago

    I think the cockroach deserves better than to be named after my ex, personally!

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 7 months ago

    My ex is the same, an absolute idiot with money and with his retirement AND mine during our marriage. I deferred to him for financial decisions throughout our marriage, and we dipped into our retirement way too often during times of HIS unemployment. Now I am 40 years old and have ZERO in retirement. I found out after he left me that he took…[Read more]

    • If you did not know of the $35,000 withdrawal from his IRA, then you probably didn’t sign for the withdrawal. Did you? If you did not sign anything, somebody forged your signature. You can not withdrawal money out of a retirement plan without the spouse signing. You need to call the person that had that account and do NOT tip them off. Tell them…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 7 months ago

    Very true. He is the problem. If it wasn’t her, it would be some other whorebag. I didn’t waste any time seeking revenge against my ex’s whorebag or even hating her. I looked her up on Facebook out of curiosity. She’s cute, but she has a hideous nose and can’t spell. I don’t care about her, though. She didn’t break a vow to me. He did. She’s…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 7 months ago

    So, what happened? I’ve fantasized about sending whorebag (one of them anyway) a message and her husband one (yes, she’s still married and her husband doesn’t know about the fair). I wanted to tell them to get checked for STDs, because she wasn’t his only whore. The only reason I didn’t is because her husband looks like a scary White Supremacist…[Read more]

    • Nothing yet. I had been thinking about doing it for a long time and finally just did it. Believe me I had fantasized many other plans to get back at her…..but SHE is not really the problem. She is only symptom. He is the problem. Given all of the things he has done over the years, I truly just wanted her wasband to know what she was getting…[Read more]

      • Very true. He is the problem. If it wasn’t her, it would be some other whorebag. I didn’t waste any time seeking revenge against my ex’s whorebag or even hating her. I looked her up on Facebook out of curiosity. She’s cute, but she has a hideous nose and can’t spell. I don’t care about her, though. She didn’t break a vow to me. He did. She’s…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 7 months ago

    Ha! All of his financials are very much your business right now. Not sure what state you live in, but in CA there is a requirement for FULL disclosure of ALL assets and debts in writing, even if you settle peacefully. I’m sure most states do the same or similar. Basically, the need for full disclosure outweighs any right to privacy during divorce.…[Read more]

    • Yep they deserve each other.
      My lawyer has told me he can think whatever he wants but he will to disclose all acts open and closed. We women are smart enough to use OUR computers to find out what to expect during the divorce process. I live in MO

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, Sarah. Going through a divorce, going through breast cancer, and being a single mom to a young child are all major stressors in life. You are a rock star, a survivor. Crying is a natural stress reliever. Let the tears flow! Grieving is hard work. You’re in the right place here. We are all grieving…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Oh, dear. It’s scary stuff when they are plotting against you. You drank while the child was in his care and sleeping is not a crime. You could easily assert that you are exhausted from many things, not passed out from drinking. How did he get in the house to videotape you? Change the locks! As Lambie said, talk to your lawyer right away. Did he…[Read more]

  • It is isn’t just amazing, Tasha? Our loser wasbands cause the alienation from the children by their own selfish and careless conduct, but somehow we’re the ones blamed for the consequences of it. Re-victimization at its finest. Walk on eggshells we must. The less we say to the kids, the better we off in court. But at the same time, we hurt our…[Read more]

  • Overall, a great article. But I have to disagree with a few things, especially for younger children.

    I will not discuss my budget with my 7 year old. It’s not that he won’t understand. He’ll understand it all too well, and he’ll worry about it. If my car breaks down, he’ll worry about the budget. If we’re enjoying a vacation, he’ll worry about…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    On a separate note, it sounds like you are in a really good place: indifferent to your ex, minimal communication with him, and enjoying healthy relationships with your adult children. Bravo to you, Snickers! There is hope for us all!

    • Thanks so much. I know I spent 35 years trying to get X to communicate in healthy way and that’s a book I closed long ago. And it also seems he married his mother. My kids are smart and I know capable of dealing with this situation in whatever way they decide to.
      I have good relationships with two of my kids, minor communication with one and no…[Read more]

      • I know what you mean about MDR being a source of women with a similar experience and being comfortable sharing thoughts with. It’s the same with me. I have no divorced friends so the friends I do have, have no idea what divorce is really all about.

        I can see how annoying the X’s spouse is. Another woman in MDR has one of these types in her…[Read more]

  • Blondie Barnes posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    The Beatles song “Let it Be” comes to mind. If you say anything, they’ll accuse YOU of meddling or being jealous. Your adult children need to set their own boundaries, just as you said.

    That’s just my two cents.

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