I have been married for over 37 years. It’s been rocky at times but I have been very dedicated. I have begged my husband to go to therapy together and he would not. At the end if April 2020, he said he didn’t even like me, he didn’t think our marriage would work, and he didn’t want to try. Honestly I was saying that all I wanted was to be madly in love with him and have him madly in love with me. We were in slightly different places. He said he had to leave. I’m not sure he has had of is having an affair. I’ve had no proof but mxny suspicious circumstances. After leaving he would not communicate about anything meaningful. He said he was in therapy and that he was trying to find his voice. In November 2020 I had him served papers. Divorce is an abhorrent idea to me. But it’s not okay to him your husband completely reject you and not make you and your marriage a priority.