Rocky Carlisle

@rocky-carlisle

Active 2 days ago
Do you recommend your children (ages 17 & 20) take the parenting through divorce workshop with you? View

Base

Name

Rocky Carlisle

Date of Divorce

Not yet filed

City

Branford

State

CT

Zip

06405

About Me

I am 51 years old and have been married since I was 26 years old, been with my husband since I was 21. We have two wonderful girls, age 20 and 17. I always thought of us as the super family… we were invincible, had wild adventures, led a clean wholesome life, and looked forward to my golden years with my husband and future grandkids. We planned on living life to the fullest and family meant everything to us. I was diagonosed with breast cancer at age 41, and then again at age 48. I had radiation, radical mastectomy, lymph nodes removed, and chemotherapy. All during this I worked full time and raised my girls. Right before my 2nd diagnosis, my husband became reacquainted with his “best” friend Sue from high school and helped her through her divorce. The rest is history.. the two had an affair during my treatment and recovery during which I suspected but he gaslighted and lied so much, and I was too weak to and in disbelief that he could do this, that I believed him.  I finally confronted her and kicked him out. I don’t know the status of them, he says it’s over but how can I believe him. She moved 2 miles down the road from me.  The hardest part for me is the dissolution of my family. Like I said before, we were the super family. The thought of us never being together again as a whole unit makes me nauseous.

Goals

My goal is to be at peace with myself in my decision to divorce. He does not want a divorce. He wants to come home and for me to forget about everything (without any work on his part). I deserve better.

Strategies and Inspirations

I am very lucky to have a close extended family. My parents are alive and I have great relationships with my brothers, and so many wonderful girl friends. I am also lucky to have good medical insurance and have good mental health benefits.

I look to nature to inspire me. I look to God to inspire me. I look to my friends for support. My daughters mean everything to me. They understand what decisions I need to make, even though they are devasted as well.  I am for the most part happy in my job even though it barely covers the bills.

My days are okay. I get through it with work, my dog, lots of exercising, and girlfriends. The nights are the hardest and that is where I need help. Mornings are even worse! I hope that one day I can wake up with a light heart and look forward to a day of this weight being lifted off my chest. I know I will survive, but the pain is so much at times. The anger overtakes me. I need to work on that.