Skyla

@skyla

Active 1 year, 9 months ago
Hey ladies, this page is not where most of the conversation happens. If you look above at the tab for the FORUM – that’s where you should go to enter your topic and follow other threads. Let us know if that is not working properly for you. Scroll down to the open box below all the titled entries, enter a title to invite traffic for your new […] View
  • Skyla posted an update 1 year, 10 months ago

    Hey ladies, this page is not where most of the conversation happens. If you look above at the tab for the FORUM – that’s where you should go to enter your topic and follow other threads. Let us know if that is not working properly for you. Scroll down to the open box below all the titled entries, enter a title to invite traffic for your new post.…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 10 months ago

    Taking steps is always hard but nothing changes if you do nothing. So I always use – when the uncertain future looks better than keeping things as they are, then I know that I have to take that step. I pray. In my meditation, I try to feel the future with each scenario, and then I can tell which one gives me the most peace. That’s the one I know…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted an update 1 year, 10 months ago

    Hey all – Head to the FORUM – use the tab up at the top to post your conversations. This page confuses many, especially new members. It is meant to be a home page and show profile updates. See you in the Forum.

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 10 months ago

    How do we break the cycle of hoping, believing, and finding more lying and reasons not to trust, then feeling despair until the next round of hope because he charms and deceives you again? Have you read this blog? https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/dating-ex-husband-after-divorce/

    You may have done those things and still don’t have clarity…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 10 months ago

    I agree with LadyVine. Set your boundaries and don’t be available at his whims. Narcissists know how to charm and manipulate, so it is easy to fall victim to them. Show him that things are different now, and that you are taking control of your life. And there is no need to apologize for unpacking your mind here – that’s what the group is for.

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Thank you from the MDR team.

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Hey Charlie – I found MDR two years ago. Doing the MasterPlan got me through the craziest, most unpredictable, saddest year of my life. When a position came available to work with Suzy and Grady, I jumped on it. So now I am working from home as the moderator of the community, as well as supporting all their operations. Now that I am in the…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    That’s totally okay. How can we be our best in the world when we feel a shell of ourselves? If you can manage coming home to circle in with me time, that’s great.

    • It was a good decision. I spoke with my supervisor last night; she has gone through separation/divorce. I told her I would like to take 2 months off to take care of myself and take time to create a new mindset and vision for my future Best thing I have done lately…Woke up this morning, prayed and meditated on the strength of God in my life,…[Read more]

      • Hey Charlie – I found MDR two years ago. Doing the MasterPlan got me through the craziest, most unpredictable, saddest year of my life. When a position came available to work with Suzy and Grady, I jumped on it. So now I am working from home as the moderator of the community, as well as supporting all their operations. Now that I am in the…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Hey Toby, welcome to the community! I see your post, but you will get more conversation if you post it in the Forum. Please click on the link above and put your topic in there. We are in the process of reconstructing this site, so that will become easier to navigate. This page is really just a header, and place to see if profiles were updated.…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted an update 1 year, 11 months ago

    In our communication with members of all races, from countries all over the world, with varying lengths of marriage and a wide variety of reasons for divorce, there is a common thread of pain. Pain doesn’t discriminate. We have members suffering from divorce at the same time as a pandemic and global racial injustices crying out for change. It’s…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Having trouble going into the Forum? You were there before, please tell us what is not working right from your end.

    • Hi Skyla. Sometimes, I am having trouble posting anywhere using my phone. Every time I post, it kicks me out from the page. I am using computer now. Thanks for asking.

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Hey Frisky, I see your post, but you will get more conversation if you post it in the Forum. Please click on the link above and put your topic in there. We are in the process of reconstructing this site, so that will become easier to navigate. Dating is a topic that the group will love to chat about.

  • “The day inevitably comes when the part of me that wants health more than sickness, or joy more than sorrow, or serenity more than turmoil wakes up and demands I pay attention. Finally, I am willing to try s […]

    • I want to move forward but I can’t see past today. I’m having a difficult time visualizing something new & better. I was settling on security and boring, I never imagined he would leave me.

    • I have to admit I’m living in so much fear right now, fear that I should stay but fear that if I do things will go right back to before. It’s not like he has really changed just improved on what he was enough to make me question wether what I am doing is right. I have to remind myself that his 4 year affair and the fact I had to file for divorce to end it was my last straw and the day I filed I had no doubts about my decision. Fear held me here longer than it should have but I still face fears. The fear that feels less is leaving. There is a slight, ever so slight bit of adventure it feels like but that scares me even more. What if I totally fail at living alone and I can’t undo this choice. I am second guessing everything right now and I hate that. That loss of security that he would always financially provide no matter what is being taken alway and how do I even begin to step out and begin this. It’s sad that one of the biggest reasons to stay is my financial security, not that I think the marriage is fixable. Which tells me I need to leave but then the fears come rushing back. So a basket case of fears resides in my home right now lol.

    • Great reminder!!!!!”What has happened is done. And what he wants is clearer now than ever. You can’t change his actions, but you can change yourself. You can change your attitude about what’s next.” I am coming into acceptance of what has happened. However after almost a year of crying everyday or being angry as he’ll and then cying it’s finally sinking in. My new reality. I am finally with the help of the ladies here and other tools i can we the light at the end of the tunnel. I woke up happy today. ( 1st time in a year) what a great feeling. I know it may be short lived and I may slide backward but I know each day is a choice to be happy. Bye WAS hello happy life alone i.e. whatever. 🙂

    • Buffy I have the same fears. What if moving on doesn’t work. But reading your post make me think that I have to move on in hopes of some newfound happiness. My husband has been in a two year affair with a very persistent woman. I don’t want this to drag out for four years. I need to move on and you do too! There will be happiness for us out there!

    • “Don’t let fear force you to settle for a life of misery.” Wow. That really hit home!

  • Skyla posted an update 1 year, 11 months ago

    Change begins with me.

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Buffy, sorry for the inconvenience. We have been having some technical troubles with Chrome. A few people found clearing their cache got the site to work again. Others switched their browser to Firefox. Let us know if you still can’t get in. (It happened to me too, so I know the annoyance.) About your post – you have a natural worry factor from…[Read more]

    • Thank you so much! I was able to get in using Firefox.

      I think the true separation will be harder than I think right now. Thanks for your encouraging words.

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Hello Mighty – look at you with a mighty strong name! Hey – were you able to find the Survival Six? I just saw that prior post. Open the dropdown on the Resources tab above – and select MasterPlan – then scroll down to Lesson 2: Survive. It is so basic, but surprisingly having those simple routines begin the day in a whole new way. The ups and…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Hello Toby Liebig, and welcome to the MDR Community! Sad to say, but there are plenty of women in here who have suffered the life of living with a narcissist. Here’s a blog that we wrote on that subject: https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/married-narcissistic-husband/

    Keep coming back to the community and ask questions. Next time, click on…[Read more]

  • Skyla posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Hello Emma and welcome to the MDR community! This is a place to open up and discover that we do have very similar needs for healing, respect, and to be understood. Our world is suffering and it is no doubt that all of it makes our personal emotions even harder to reckon. Every day, rise up and look for your own good around you. Change begins in…[Read more]

    • Thanks so much, Skyla. The emotions of being abandoned, the loss of the dream of being with my husband for the rest of my life, combined with this pandemic and awful news are just overwhelming most of the time. I certainly hope I can draw strength from this group so that I can give back someday. I’m amazed at the similarities of our stories and…[Read more]

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