Tara Parkside

@tara-parkside

Active 1 week, 5 days ago
Hi Sisters, I think of you often, Juno, Blondie Barnes, Emerald, Teddy and Henry particularly. You helped me so very much. I’m definitely in a new chapter of my life, and feeling alot better. Every so often, I miss wasband or the past life we had, it hurts terribly, there are tears, reflection, talking to myself, self care and prayers. My […] View
  • Tara Parkside changed their profile picture 1 month, 2 weeks ago

  • Tara Parkside posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    Hi Juno,
    Good to hear from you! He is very unhappy about his weight, he refuses to send me a picture of himself! I am filled with fear and trepidation often. I’ll be sailing along having fun talking to him, then I just feel removed from the conversation. sigh…time will tell.

  • Tara Parkside posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    Hi Emerald,
    Good to hear from you too! I’m glad you are doing emdr. I have thought about it lately. Please read the above updates to get a sense of where I am at.
    I hope all is well with your children. God Bless!

  • Tara Parkside posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    Hi Henry! About not picking the same type of guy again…the ‘new guy’ seems very different, more literary, verbal, gentlemanly. BUT…he is fat! Wasband was very athletic, played tennis with men half his age and won blah blah blah. I’ve struggled to stay in shape, but am carrying 30 pounds I could do without.
    So I feel like the message is that…[Read more]

    • Hey Tara, I agree that this is how dating works….you need to take your time getting to know him, and yourself in terms of your preferences and bottom lines. I think the quarantine is a difficult time to make decisions in budding relationships….maybe give it a bit more time to unravel your mixed emotions. Xoxo. Keep us posted. Henry

    • Hi Tara, I’m so glad you’re still “seeing” your engaging man! So he’s fat, just more to love!

      • Hi Juno,
        Good to hear from you! He is very unhappy about his weight, he refuses to send me a picture of himself! I am filled with fear and trepidation often. I’ll be sailing along having fun talking to him, then I just feel removed from the conversation. sigh…time will tell.

    • I am scared for your emotional state. You have created a dating persona through texting but you listed several turnoffs about the new person. If they are turn offs now, I can’t see how they will ever be turn on’s. Don’t sell yourself short just to have someone to date. This is a new chapter in your life and you do not have to settle. You c…[Read more]

  • Tara Parkside posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    Hi Skyla, I like the idea of a whole new book. Sunday, I meeting my son and daughter in law for a distanced walk at our local park. They were late and I was sort of wandering around letting my dog stretch his legs, when in the distance I saw man who looked like my wasband. As I got closer, I saw his movements were like wasband and his dog…[Read more]

  • Hi Sisters, I think of you often, Juno, Blondie Barnes, Emerald, Teddy and Henry particularly. You helped me so very much. I’m definitely in a new chapter of my life, and feeling alot better. Every so often, I miss wasband or the past life we had, it hurts terribly, there are tears, reflection, talking to myself, self care and prayers. My…[Read more]

    • This is so nice to read, thank you for your gratitude. I know what you mean about a new man, starting a relationship when you have so much history with your wasband. The only thing that got my head in gear with that was looking at it as a whole new book of life. Close the old book. Start a new one Tara. You deserve to be loved.

      • Hi Skyla, I like the idea of a whole new book. Sunday, I meeting my son and daughter in law for a distanced walk at our local park. They were late and I was sort of wandering around letting my dog stretch his legs, when in the distance I saw man who looked like my wasband. As I got closer, I saw his movements were like wasband and his dog…[Read more]

    • Hey hey Tara! I am happy to hear that you have been feeling a lot better. Weird, I was just thinking of you and the above mentioned others! It’s been a while since I have posted. My divorce is almost finalized and I am feeling considerably better. I am no longer in that 24/7 grief I thought would never end. Facing my life alone( I too have b…[Read more]

      • Hi Henry! About not picking the same type of guy again…the ‘new guy’ seems very different, more literary, verbal, gentlemanly. BUT…he is fat! Wasband was very athletic, played tennis with men half his age and won blah blah blah. I’ve struggled to stay in shape, but am carrying 30 pounds I could do without.
        So I feel like the message is that…[Read more]

        • Hey Tara, I agree that this is how dating works….you need to take your time getting to know him, and yourself in terms of your preferences and bottom lines. I think the quarantine is a difficult time to make decisions in budding relationships….maybe give it a bit more time to unravel your mixed emotions. Xoxo. Keep us posted. Henry

        • Hi Tara, I’m so glad you’re still “seeing” your engaging man! So he’s fat, just more to love!

          • Hi Juno,
            Good to hear from you! He is very unhappy about his weight, he refuses to send me a picture of himself! I am filled with fear and trepidation often. I’ll be sailing along having fun talking to him, then I just feel removed from the conversation. sigh…time will tell.

        • I am scared for your emotional state. You have created a dating persona through texting but you listed several turnoffs about the new person. If they are turn offs now, I can’t see how they will ever be turn on’s. Don’t sell yourself short just to have someone to date. This is a new chapter in your life and you do not have to settle. You c…[Read more]

      • Hello Henry, So good to hear from you. We should all try to do a Zoom meeting one day. I’m glad you’ve found someone interesting. You deserve it after the hell you’ve been through. xoxo

        • Hi Juno,
          How have you been? I’ve missed hearing about you. Yes, a zoom meeting would be nice. Let me know what’s been going on! XoHenry

    • So good to hear from you Tara! I love the way you are sounding. Also, I have started seeing a therapist that does EMDR. She is a Christian and I think it is going to be helpful to me to help me get over some grieving that is still there. I can’t wait to hear about your new adventures. I so understand what you mean about having a history with…[Read more]

      • Hi Emerald,
        Good to hear from you too! I’m glad you are doing emdr. I have thought about it lately. Please read the above updates to get a sense of where I am at.
        I hope all is well with your children. God Bless!

  • Tara Parkside posted a new activity comment 2 years, 6 months ago

    Snickers, I need more information before giving you any advice.
    When new spouse visits your kids, does x go too?
    Why exactly are you on the verge of freaking out?
    The child who is afraid of new spouse inheriting money, has he consulted a lawyer to try to protect his interests?
    How would x respond if you did say what you want to?
    Stay well.

  • Blondie,
    I think porn was the gateway to my wasbands current state of drug addiction. And I think a therapist recommended it.

  • Hi Kiki, I just came across your post, and found it very interesting. I kind of stumbled across the method you speak of. When I start to feel bad, I ask God for help, then I say to myself there is no need to feel this terrible feeling, or that thought is simply not true, then I feel better and more like myself as God made me. I am trying to make…[Read more]

  • Tara Parkside posted a new activity comment 2 years, 11 months ago

    Sassin, I don’t know, I just don’t know. When I look back over wasband life, I see he was doing this using and then discarding people all his life. His mother called him a liar and his brother and lifelong roomate both told me not to trust him. But I was the woman in his life for alot of years and he took care of me economically and to some extent…[Read more]

    • OMG, Tara its that bad. OKay, yea let that guy go. You can do better, I know you can. Sassin too.
      Yea, its when we get scared it looks bad. That’s just fears’ projection which is not Truth.

  • Tara Parkside posted a new activity comment 2 years, 11 months ago

    I think my wasband has dementia and is using drugs, curtesy of girlfiend. I am just trying to do self care today. Daughter moved across country, largely because she is heartbroken by the shit show he is putting on. I swam today, and saw warm supportive friends which helps alot. I hope someday I will have a happy life with a decent honest man in a…[Read more]

    • Self care is key! We WILL have great lives with loving , honest men. I’m sorry about your daughter moving. But I’m glad you had support from great friends. I’ve come to realize just how important my friends are, and it’s a great feeling. I hope you feel that too.

      • Sassin, I don’t know, I just don’t know. When I look back over wasband life, I see he was doing this using and then discarding people all his life. His mother called him a liar and his brother and lifelong roomate both told me not to trust him. But I was the woman in his life for alot of years and he took care of me economically and to some extent…[Read more]

        • OMG, Tara its that bad. OKay, yea let that guy go. You can do better, I know you can. Sassin too.
          Yea, its when we get scared it looks bad. That’s just fears’ projection which is not Truth.

  • The loneliness is getting better. I have a 16 month old puppy and he helps alot. I try to stay out and about all day and chat with people whenever possible. then when I come home I’m pretty busy with chores and mdr. I got into watching tv in theevenings- several hours- which was okay- I found the Hallmark Channel, which is so positive and fun, I…[Read more]

  • Tara Parkside posted an update 3 years ago

    I had myself in a very positive place all day, getting the house emptied out, had my paper work/life logistics going well, then I opened the mail and found out they were going to stop delivering the propane because wasband didn’t pay bill, then found out my credit rating is low, then more bills he said he had paid and hadn’t. I got so scared and…[Read more]

    • Hi Tara. Good for you that you took care of everything on your own. I’ve learned never to trust the wasband for anything. My wasband too is just so hateful towards me. I was just going to write that I don’t understand why they are like that, but I think I do. I really think that my wasband is going through a crisis and blames me for eve…[Read more]

      • I think my wasband has dementia and is using drugs, curtesy of girlfiend. I am just trying to do self care today. Daughter moved across country, largely because she is heartbroken by the shit show he is putting on. I swam today, and saw warm supportive friends which helps alot. I hope someday I will have a happy life with a decent honest man in a…[Read more]

        • Self care is key! We WILL have great lives with loving , honest men. I’m sorry about your daughter moving. But I’m glad you had support from great friends. I’ve come to realize just how important my friends are, and it’s a great feeling. I hope you feel that too.

          • Sassin, I don’t know, I just don’t know. When I look back over wasband life, I see he was doing this using and then discarding people all his life. His mother called him a liar and his brother and lifelong roomate both told me not to trust him. But I was the woman in his life for alot of years and he took care of me economically and to some extent…[Read more]

            • OMG, Tara its that bad. OKay, yea let that guy go. You can do better, I know you can. Sassin too.
              Yea, its when we get scared it looks bad. That’s just fears’ projection which is not Truth.

    • This is my 3rd marriage. First 2 ended in divorce and each wasband dead only a few years after ( both younger than me). My children are grown now, so I am only responsible for taking care of myself this 3rd time around. But I raised six (6) children by myself on very little money. (I will have more $ to take care of just me than I had to take…[Read more]

  • I like everything about this post but the use of the word “mid-life”. At 66 I am not in mid-life, I am in the golden years. I am healthy, but a little fragile, and that is as God has made me. I am hopeful for the next twenty years to be the culmination of many good things. I feel I am taking a step up, closer to God in preparation for the end of…[Read more]